Dating married man wife problem

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Ok, so I know many of the people reading this are going to judge me and HATE me and I'm sorry for offending you, but I am only on here to look for guidance and advice.I am a 40 year-old married white male who has been married to my wife for 12 years (together for 16) and have always been faithful to her but circumstances have forced me to look for a woman on the side. When I first met my wife, she had a voracious appetite for sex and since my drive was also strong we had an amazing sex life right from the beginning of our relationship.My wife still tells me she finds me physically attractive and I exercise regularly to keep fit and stay attractive to her so I know that my appearance isn't the issue.We've had many discussions about this subject and my wife knows how frustrated I have become but she tells me she just no longer has the interest in sex that she once had.The really bad part about all this is that I am a God-fearing woman. Notice the word “act” — because that’s exactly what it is. Simply because he can’t commit to two women and he can’t lie and tell the truth at the same time. Because if you didn’t feel as strongly, you wouldn’t even be writing me and you wouldn’t feel so conflicted. And here's another thing: One of the key excuses married men use to have affairs is to escape the problems at home — a bitchy wife, a depressed wife, constant arguing, a sexless marriage, living in separate rooms, etc. He takes care of his children, he still parents, he still provides — but he doesn’t stay in a marriage and have an “affair” in an effort to escape his problems. There's no such thing as a perfect marriage, because marriages are made up of people, and there are no perfect people.I have been going to church my whole life and I hate the fact that I have become a mistress to a married man, and yet I simply can't seem to stop my feelings for him. First of all, I want to say this: I understand how painful this must be for you because no little girl ever dreams of growing up to become a third wheel in a relationship. Always keep in mind: Rituals of seduction aren’t signs of love — they’re signs of seduction. In fact, it’s exactly because you feel so strongly about him that you’re in such turmoil. This is an important question to ask because feelings are always temporary. Whatever the problem is, the point of the affair (or mistress) is to distract themselves. However, it requires courage to deal honestly with marital issues. You wrote that he's told you how unhappy he really is at home.If you're unfortunate enough to fall in love with a married man, turn and run the other way, just as fast as your legs can carry you.To continue down the path ahead is to walk willingly into a dark, murky swamp composed of little more than depression, heartbreak and futility.

He makes me feel like I'm the only thing in the world that matters to him. Here’s another thing: Whether or not you want to admit it, you've got to consider the fact that you’re helping him sow those deceptive seeds.

But in spite of all these efforts, when I try to initiate sex, my wife participates through the foreplay and then tells me that she just doesn't feel like having sex or is too tired.

She still enjoys kissing and receiving massages from me but that's as far as it goes.

And with the prevalence of cheating, a lot of times one partner has already begun a new relationship and the other partner is now seeking to get 'mine.' Once it's been decided by one, or both, partners to end the relationship, most typically both of partners start seeking a new relationship. If you really care about your new love interest then you'll apply more reason than emotion to your decision about dating while separated.

Being separated and not dating is one of the hardest temptations to resist. You'll also make your decision about more than just what you want.

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